Five Qwa'ha Xahns Illyria Never Had
by Empress of the Azure Skies
Summary: Title says it all. Five drabbles about Qwa’ha Xahns Illyria never had.
1. A God King, A Death God, and a False God

"You think yourself a god

Title: Five Qwa'ha Xahns Illyria Never Had

Author: DarkGoddess (aka Empress of the Azure Skies)

Summary: Title says it all. Five drabbles about Qwa'ha Xahns Illyria never had.

Response to Twisting the Hellmouth Challenge 3761: Qwa'ha Xahns Illyria never had...

Disclaimer: Illyria, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Angel belong to Joss Whedon. Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. Nothing belongs to me.

--

"You think yourself a god?" Illyria asked as she looked over her new guide in this world, "Never has my Qwa'ha Xahn been so presumptive. I would kill you for such insolence, but it would only serve to make you think your existence of any concern to me. I was a God to Gods long before your kind even had the impertinence to stain this world with your being."

Light sighed and put his pen down. When he had first encountered her and Ryuk exampled what she was, Light had though that having a powerful being from times before humanity would be a great asset to his cause. Now he was beginning to tire of her constant diatribes about the worthlessness of all humans.

"You asked me to be your guide in this world, but this world is rotten. I am creating a new world, a perfect world of order and justice."

"I mock your concepts of 'order' and 'justice.' They are as pointless and fleeting as your mortal lives. The only true, eternal law is power. Those who possess it rule and those who do not seek it. So it was in my time, so it is now, so it will be when the time of your kind passes."

"I do possess power, the power of the Death Note! With it I will carve out a new world and I will be the god of the new world!"

"You are a fool toying with things beyond your comprehension. Perhaps I shall go find the yellow haired one, her inane blather reminds me of that irksome half-breed, but I should find it more pleasing than your ridiculous claims of godhood."

--

Illyria stood over Light Yagami in the last forty seconds of his life. Here he was in an abandoned warehouse, bleeding profusely from his arm utterly defeated. She felt disgust that he allowed himself to end up like this, but also a strange feeling…pity perhaps? She did not enjoy feeling such things for lowly creatures. It must be because of her shell.

"You should have heeded my warning," she said.

"I don't regret what I did, not a single thing. I would do it all over again if I could," he replied.

"That is good, regret is a sign of uncertainty and weakness. A true god never feels regret."

"Goodbye, Illyria. Maybe your next Qwa'ha Xahn will live longer."

So he knew the shinigami had written his name in the Death Note or at least he had guessed. Illyria turned and left, leaving him to his demise. She really did need to choose a more durable mortal as her next guide.


	2. An Old One and a Cop

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, it belongs to Dick Wolf.

--

Illyria watched through the one-way mirror as her newest Qwa'ha Xahn questioned a man. She had, much to her chagrin, been forced to constantly take on the appearance and mannerisms of her shell. He hadn't wanted to be her guide, but she had given him no choice. So he had passed her off as the product of a youthful indiscretion.

She eyed him as he emerged from the room.

"The bastard did it," Elliot said, "I can tell."

"Why do you not simply kill him?" Illyria asked, "He violated your laws and killed one of your kind. Is it not your way to take the life of one who has taken another's life?"

"He did more than kill that little girl, but we don't have enough evidence to get a conviction, yet. I'd love to just be able to kill scum like this and the soulless lawyers who get them off, but you have to rely on the system to do its job. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the drop in crime when that Kira guy was around, though."

"You are at the same time both like and unlike my last guide. He too had a strong sense of the concept you call 'justice,' but he also lusted for power. You do not, you only see it as your duty."

"I was raised to believe there is a right and wrong and that those who do wrong should be punished. Didn't you have laws in your time?"

"My whims were law. Those who opposed me perished and those who obeyed were allowed to live. There was no emotional stake in it, no right or wrong. It was simply the way of things."

She considered the man in the room who sat waiting for his lawyer.

"Release him," ordered Illyria.

"What?!"

"Release him," she repeated, "I will follow him and get the answers you seek. He will tell you nothing, he does not fear you. I will make him afraid."

"Why would you do that? I thought we're nothing but 'muck far below the notice of one such as yourself."

"You are insects drowning in your own insignificance. However, I have no choice but to live in this world and I wish to learn about this 'system' of yours."

--


	3. Purebred Demon and Thoroughbred of Sin

The Purebred Demon and the Thoroughbred of Sin

Disclaimer: I don't own Bad Horse or Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. That honor belongs to Joss Whedon, Jed Whedon, Zack Whedon, and Maurissa Tancharoen.

--

Illyria was pleased with her newest Qwa'ha Xahn. He wasted no time with human foolishness. He lacked the sentimentally that had so weakened her previous guides. He was brutal and efficient, a truly great leader.

"Do you truly intend to allow this fool into your organization?" she asked.

Bad Horse responded with a hearty whinny.

"He will be a detriment. All of his endeavors thus far have been completely unsuccessful."

neigh

"Potential means nothing if he cannot utilize it."

neigh

"Indeed?

Another hearty whinny.

"I see. Your outlook on morality is very different from my previous guides. It is refreshing to have a guide who understands that it is the strong who determine what is right and wrong, not some obscure human sensibility."

Bad Horse moved his head up and down, then stomped his hoof.

"Very well, I will observe Dr. Horrible using my shell's form and judge his worth. After that I will take my place as a member of your 'Evil League of Evil.'"

Bad Horse reared back and let out the closest equivalent to an evil laugh a horse can make. Suddenly, three singing cowboys emerged from seemingly nowhere.

"Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse,  
He rides across the nation, the Thoroughbred of Sin,

Once Illyria's done her job, she's gonna get in

With an Old One by his side he'll definitely win

The side of good will crumble, the heroes all shall fall, evil will succeed, of course

Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse."

Illyria wondered if her Qwa'ha Xahn would be offended by her killing these annoying humans.

--


	4. Primordial Horror and Her Allegory Lion

Disclaimer: I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia

Disclaimer: I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia.

--

"Who are you?" Aslan demanded, "Why have you come to Narnia?"

"A large talking feline," Illyria mused as she sized him up, "A creature of great power, far above the muck that infests the world that should rightfully be mine. I must truly have slipped through the dimensional barriers. I find your presence pleasing; I believe I shall keep you as a pet."

"I am no tame lion," he growled in response.

Illyria continued to observe him. Even with her own ego, she had to admit that it would be a close match. She felt that he had an odd curiosity about her, as if she was an unexpected variable in his carefully laid plans.

"Then perhaps you will be my Qwa'ha Xahn, my guide in this odd world in which I have found myself. I sense that you are knowledgeable."

Aslan relaxed visibly, though still seemed tense.

"You wish to learn about this world and hear my message?"

"Yes."

"Very well then, my child. Come along with me."

Illyria cocked her head to the side.

"Do you refer to me as your offspring as a sign of endearment?"

"I see all creatures as my children and treat them as such."

"That is a foolish sentiment. Those with power should care only for themselves and show favor to only those who please them."

Aslan actually sighed as the Old One had already begun to test even his infinite patience.

--


	5. IllyriaDrusilla Crossover Special

A/N: This chapter is a crossover of 'Five Qwa'ha Xahns Illyria Never Had' and 'The Adventures of Drusilla' and different versions of it will be featured in both fics. This also marks the end of both of them. There are also some possible spoilers for the Season 8 comics.

--

"You are insane," Illyria remarked to her Qwa'ha Xahn.

"Yes, quite," Drusilla replied, "but I see all sorts of wonderful things. I see a world crushed under the weight of your glory and I see you reduced to shadows of nothing. I also see a world of nothing but shrimp."

Illyria had been a bit uncertain about taking a half-breed as her guide, but the visions this one received more than made up for her prejudices.

"That one is particularly tiresome," Illyria remarked, "Now tell me how I may restore my rule of this world."

"It's too late," Drusilla replied, "The naughty girls wage a battle with the sunset, but they will complete his goals. We shall be sent away with no supper like bad children and she shall laugh at our misfortune."

"When shall this come to pass? How may it be prevented?"

"Soon, awhile, never, forever," Drusilla rambled, "The stars say so much and so little and the moon babbles like a madwoman."

"How appropriate," Illyria said.

Perhaps the visions weren't as much of a gift as Illyria thought.

--


End file.
